Ever since I can remember, I wanted to be a mom. I was the little girl always taking care of her dolls; pretending to feed them, changing their diapers and rocking them to sleep. When my husband and I got married almost 6 years ago we immediately started our family. 5 years and 3 kids later I felt as though I had lost myself, aside from being a mother to our three beautiful daughters, and a wife to the most amazing and supportive man, there was part of me that felt as though I was missing something. I have spent most of the last 5 years pregnant or breast feeding and my body no longer felt like my own. I was so wrapped up in our children that most days I didn’t even look in the mirror. Motherhood is amazing, but it can also be overwhelming. It’s very easy to focus on the children and forget to make yourself a priority, and that’s exactly what I had done.
About 2 years ago I came across a post on social media that asked ‘what is your favourite thing about yourself?’ Those seven simple words had such an impact on me. I couldn’t come up with a single thing I liked about myself, I focused on every single flaw and imperfection. I had always made excuses, ill love myself when I lose ten pounds, or drop a dress size, I have struggled with self-esteem issues for as long as I can remember but I knew it was time to set a better example. I am trying to raise three amazing little girls and I don’t want them to have the same issues as I was facing. From that moment forward I made a decision to set time for myself and embrace every imperfection I saw in the mirror. I began to make myself a priority, something that I felt guilty for doing for a long time, and in turn, I have learned that in order to be the best wife, mom and person I can be I need to take care of myself first. Having three little girls constantly watching my every move and copying what they see I knew it was time that I start loving myself just as I am.
I had wanted to do a boudoir photo shoot for the past 6 years, after the birth of our third daughter I decided I was finally going to do it, and I am so glad I did. It has made me see myself in a new light. It started out as a something I wanted to do as a gift for my husband, but it actually turned into a gift for myself.
Walking into lady lucks studio I was nervous, I had just had a baby three months before and I did not see myself as sexy. I had met Jen and Deanna twice before as I had had two group shoots previously but I had always chose pin up looks. I worried about my double chin, about my arms, my stomach, I could go on and on, but they have a way of making you so comfortable. When Jen had the idea of doing part of the shoot in the bed with nothing but my underwear and a sheet, I left behind all my negative thoughts and dove in. She turned the camera around to show me what the pose she just put me in looked like and, to say the least, I was blown away. There was no way that sexy lady was me!? I never thought that I would be comfortable with someone taking pictures of me practically nude, let alone loving the outcome! When it came time to put on my lingerie Jen has such an eye for what is going to look great. She put together two of the items I brought and addressed every insecurity to make sure I was comfortable and felt great and it shows in my pictures.
I’m working hard on loving myself, making myself a priority and setting a good example for my three beautiful girls. My day at lady luck pin ups and boudoir has made me love myself as I am. It made me see that all those imperfections and flaws are in my head. I am not perfect, and I definitely don’t look like a girl from a magazine but Jen has helped me see that I am beautiful just as I am.