T Shirts and horrible athletic shorts that added 20 pounds to my weight when wet.. That is what I chose to wear instead. Hot. So hot.
Something happened last summer. A few things actually. The combination of seeing girls of all sizes proudly enjoying the beach in all kinds of bathing suits, and all of the body positive posts and stories online and most of all, wanting to practice what I preach.
I mean seriously. My life is dedicated to helping other women see, feel and embody, love for themselves. I better start working on myself too.
Don't always judge a book by its cover. Sometimes the people you see who are advocating for others, helping others, working for others, are in need of some help too. Part of my therapy for helping myself is through helping others. When I help a woman see and feel how truly amazing she is, it gives me this crazy burst of goodness. It's addicting.. Helping others. It's such a great addiction too. It's a healthy addiction, I'd say!
So back to bathing suits. The reason for this post.
When I was in Jamaica, I was in Paradise. I mean obviously, right? It was weird to not answer emails, Facebook messages, Facebook page messages, Instagram messages and business text messages. I did a thing. A thing I haven't done in awhile.. I put all of the attention on me. Well, me, drinks, food, the pool and the beach. And my thoughts.. Holy crap. My thoughts. Ruuuuunnnnn! This brain is full of crazy, creative, overthinking, over sensitive, best intentions, wildly wonderful things. Boy.. Is it ever.
Ok once again.. Back to the bathing suits.. Holy Hannah this writing thing is more fun than I thought it was going to be!
I arrived in Jamaica, in the early afternoon. Almost instantly, once in our gorgeous room, we put on our bathing suits. That's right.. The girl who refused to wear a bathing suit a couple of years ago, was dying to get into her suit! I also thank Torrid (who makes the best suits ever) for this!
From that day on, for the next four days, I practically lived in my one piece. I felt like a BABE in it. *totally realized on the plane on the way home, that I didn't get a full shot of my one piece.. Guess I'll have to do that this summer! *
Ok. So. I was itching to put on my new two piece. I was scared... But excited. Now, since I got the suit and posted the photos of it, I have heard comments such as "It's more like a dress" "It's not really a bikini" and yes it's true. It does cover more than your average bikini does. But dude... This is one big ass step for this girl.. A bathing suit that is two separate pieces, shows much more than a one piece and shows even a little bit of my belly..BIG PERSONAL STEP for me. JEN.
My first day wearing it I wasn't too sure how to feel. I was kinda hoping for some stranger to walk up to me and tell me it looked good.. I needed validation from someone else. I HATE THAT. Why.. I mean why? This is a good topic for another blog.. Totes. Because I didn't really get what I thought I needed, I shied away from wearing it again. I was scared.
Back to the one piece I went.
It wasn't until the last day I was there, I decided to give it a go.. Again. *DEEP BREATH*
I bugged my friend to help strap me in, and after her words of encouragement, I went out into the world once again wearing my super awesome two piece. I felt good. Better than before. I went out knowing I was determined to get my friend to take a photo of me wearing it.. On the beach (the beach I didn't want to leave.. Side note)
Determined I was. I had a get a photo. This one photo could potentially inspire other women to JUST DO IT this summer. If I could inspire even just ONE woman who was scared like me, it would all be worth it.
With people watching.. And the sun shining, I hesitantly asked my friend to take my photo. I was scared to see what I looked like in that photo. So scared. I liked what I looked like in the mirror.. Would I like what I see in the photo (something 90% of my clients probably think when doing a shoot with me, I am sure)?
After taking a few photos I slowly walked up to my friend, opened my photo gallery and holy crap. I was OK with what I saw!! That was ME! On a beach. In a two piece.. And I am pretty, maybe even a little beautiful. 🍀
Jennifer McCready is the Owner and Photographer for Lady Luck Pin Ups and Boudoir - www.lady-luck-pinups.com