Honestly? Eff that nonsense.
Through several years of abuse I was coached to believe that by having fat it meant I was unlovable and worthless and that being sensitive to the emotions of others made me weak and pathetic.
From the outside I played a role and wore a cheerful mask to hide the sadness and self-loathing that I felt. I credit the start of my journey towards healing to my very first photo shoot with Jennifer and Lady Luck Pin Up’s.
Jennifer saw a crack in my foundation and with the help of her camera, she planted seeds where flowers of love and self-actualization have grown.
Learning to silence my own negative internal voices and those negative opinions that are sometimes forcibly thrust upon me by society has certainly been a challenge. Changing the way your brain has been programmed to think is not an easy task and requires a lot of practice. Surrounding myself with positive people who continually lift me up and aim to bring light to an often dark world has made all the difference. Embracing the good, accepting the bad, and waking up each day with a grateful heart helps me spread the love that was so wonderfully gifted to me.
At times I can still find myself drifting back to the negative pattern of thinking, but remembering and recognizing that I am MORE than my physical attributes or other’s opinions is incredibly liberating. Just because I have fat or am emotional does not mean I am unworthy of love, respect, and happiness. We are not defined by our worst mistake or our least positive attribute. Through rebuilding my personal foundation over the last 10 years I have learned how strong, compassionate, dynamic, tenacious and resilient I am. That the traits that make me different are actually what make me seriously kick-ass!
I have worked with Jennifer on a number of different projects in addition to the privilege of being a “Lady Luck Representative” at Body Positive social events . Together we decided this photo series needed to happen!!! The Lady Luck Pinup’s community is so unique and supportive. Over the years through the sharing of past photographs, folks have approached me and shared many personal and sensitive stories with me. It has been a real honor being welcomed into strangers lives while they share some of their biggest fears . They often exclaim why they could “never” do what I do in front of the camera.
I have heard from so many folks when they see my photos say “I WISH I could do that! Maybe when I lose weight/gain weight/have clear skin…” I always tell people that there will never be a better time than now to feel absolutely amazing in your own skin.
Each word written on my body was carefully selected. Though we recognize that the words we chose are only a very small portion of the words used to negatively impact someone’s self-esteem, these 5 words appeared most frequently in our talks with folks over the years. We aimed to represent that we can be fat/skinny/emotional/disabled/gay and still be WORTHY! Society does not get to dictate our happiness. Society does not get to tell us we don't matter.
Honestly? Eff that nonsense!
You ARE worthy!