“Your new life is going to cost you your old one.” - Becky Bays

This was my third photo-shoot with the amazing Jennifer, and I would recommend it to anyone!
Her energy is so positive and beautiful to be around, you can’t help but have the best day.

As soon as I read about her Cheer sessions, I was keen to come in for one, because I have been working hard on my own mental health for the last three years and wanted to help her support the Canadian Mental Health Association.
I have always struggled with self-esteem and, after a period of a lot of change and loss in my life, I found an amazing therapist who has helped me so much. I read a quote once ftom Brianna Wiest, that said, “Your new life is going to cost you your old one.” That turned out to be so true for me. I had a lot of friendships in my life that definitely relied on me making other people’s needs and
feelings more important than my own.

For most of my life, I have confused being nice with being kind. So, in trying to be kind and avoid conflict, I was agreeable to my own detriment. Ultimately, this led to a lot of resentment that I always was the last priority, including to myself.

A big step for me as I started to appreciate myself more was that I started to notice how my energy was affected by people in my life – if I felt good after spending time with them or if I felt like I was walking on eggshells.

Reach for people who are reaching for you. Spend time with people who lift up your energy – if you feel drained after talking to them or spending time with them, don’t do it. Don’t feel bad for ruthlessly cutting toxic energy out of your life. If everything is a conflict, it is kinder to both of you not to spend any energy on it.

This opened up a lot of mental space for me and, although it was isolating at first to move away from familiar friendships and relationships, it also creates a lot of space for great people and experiences to come in. I have built so many wonderful and supportive friendships since that are such a delight. Nothing will heal you faster than good relationships, but you have to believe
that you deserve it.

I chose yellow as my paint colour, because I wanted the photos to show the joy and gratitude I feel from learning to love myself. It can take a long time, but I promise it transforms your life.

- Becky

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